Fri(end)s? – Why your friends say they’re sorry when they really aren’t.
I’m so Sorry
Normally when you try to confront a friend about something that’s bugging you, they immediately jump in first, state how sorry they are and then come up with a solid solution going forward.
You may decide that their proposal is adequate and you decide to leave things there.
I would say this though.
Most of the time, you find this is a Trojan horse used to get them off the hook.
Personally, I don’t believe in the term sorry.
This is something I’ve learned to avoid using in my life, as a form of an apology after an event.
Sorry is just an excuse to allow people to be negligent. Friends shouldn’t be negligent by default.
That’s not to say that one doesn’t understand the consequences of their actions and sometimes these lead to unfortunate circumstances but acknowledging this BEFORE YOU ACT and COMMUNICATING IT is the very definition of being responsible.
If one is truly sorry, they would warn you they are about to fuck up before the incident, not after.
See the discrepancy?
I will always remember what my mother said about people who are sorry.
Sorry people never forget to put clothes on when they leave the house. They never forget to eat or entertain themselves, Or to get paid at work.
They are only sorry when it comes to fulfilling their responsibilities to other people. If they can find the time to always look after their own needs, then their sorry is nothing more than excuse for either, self-indulgent, negligent or plain ol ignorance.
None of these are not qualities you want in a friend.
Harsh but pretty fair.
They may indeed be sorry but more often than not, this will just end up being a ‘get out of jail free card’ which may allow the situation to occur yet again.
If you are looking to nip things in the bud, I would also take precautionary action to not let them put you in that vulnerable situation again. That’s is the only way to make sure you don’t hear the inevitable emptiness of that ‘I’m sorry’ phrase again.
Here you also need to make sure you take action. At the very least come up with a ‘joint’ solution or find a way to manage the situation better on your own. If you need some help, take a few pointers from here
If you take this advice, I promise you wont be sorry.