November 04

The Death of Khurri…

Bonjour my British Chuuuummmsss…

I would like to inform you that I have recently been honoured with the  privilege to write a piece for one of YOUR weddings!!!!

That’s right, one of my wonderful viewers was so taken aback by my pieces (God knows which one but they say never look a gift horse in the mouth), that they wanted me to write a reading for their special day.

So I had to get off my arse and start getting creative again which is harder than it sounds but hopefully I came up with something that would enhance their day and set it apart from the normal jargon that gets spat out *cough* Corinthians *cough*

So I thought I would share it with you guys and you can let me know what you think.

By the by if anyone would like me to write anything for any occasion (or just to see my take on a subject) PLEASE let me know, my best pieces I feel come from when I write for an agenda outside of my own, so keep those requests coming.

All requests are FREE by the by. Life’s too short to charge someone for a smile. Just pass the joy forward and consider your debt to me paid.

Right, on with the original unedited piece. enjoy..

Midnight Memoirs

I had the strangest dream last night.

I awoke in it to realise you weren’t beside me.

That I couldn’t catch your scent in the morning breeze.

That your coffee mug wasn’t lingering on the far bed-side stand.

That I would arise for the first time in a long time,



Then I sat up in bed and I began to ponder


That you had never existed.

That I never bumped into you that fateful day all those years ago.

That you never managed to make me laugh so hard, a lil fart would come out.

That your quirky but endearing charm offensive never won me over.

That I never threw shoes at my mates when they teased me for liking you..

That you didn’t jump through the million hoops and trials I set for you

Before you earned the right to know and love,

The real me.


Finally, the reality of the situation hit me.


That you weren’t ever around to free me from the shackles of my previous.

That I had never shared all those wonderful experiences with you.

That you never opened my eyes to finally see the beauty of my horizon.

That you never closed the doors to my fears.

That I didn’t have the strength and support to excel where once I failed.

That this very day. with you standing before me,

Could never happen


In that moment,

For the first time in a long time,

I was sad


Then I realised I no longer had to organize or pay

 For this insanely extravagant wedding

 With your infinitely growing guest-list,

Your snooty parents and crazy alcoholic uncle,

Your Sister’s latent taste for expensive canapés

And your first dance choice legitimately being…

“Gangnam Style”

And I got over it real fucking quick.


In any case,

I suppose what my subconscious

Is trying to say to you is

Despite your family’s colourful idiosyncrasies

I’m thankful to have you here in my life

To share my dreams with

No matter what they end up being

Forever and always