Short and all aboard…part 46…

This piece is 99% true. The rest is just wishful thinking venting…


Omnibus Blues with Omnibus Queues..

Every Monday morning like clockwork, I board the 8.00 bus to work

And every morning, like Groundhog day, I am greeted by the same bus driver



And like a well rehearsed theatre production on Broadway, we engage in exactly the same non-conversation

Moi :Good morning


Moi: May I please get a zone 2 weekly return ticket…

Him: …

*he pushes some buttons and the price comes up on the machine*

*I give him a note*

*He tears off my ticket and puts it and my change in a bowl*

Moi : Thank you very much



And every other day that week at 8.00 I would board that bus, wish him good morning and show him my ticket, he’d push a button on his dash to show my concession and I would say ‘Thank you’ to no reply.


After what must have been 2 months of this continual rudeness, one Friday,  I finally must have uttered under my breath as I walked passed,

‘Rude cunt’

I must have been louder than I thought as a mortified older lady quickly sat beside me and whispered

‘Don’t be so rude, he’s deaf ya know’

I gasped and instantly felt incredibly bad and decided to set aside the whole weekend to make amends for my ways.

So come Monday morning, I arrive for my 8.00 bus feeling exuberant.

I wish the driver good morning to which I get my normal reply.

Assuming he’s not able to read my lips properly,

I quickly take out a poster I created to help us leap over our language barrier.

A copy of which is provided below for reference.


deaf cunt.

On a lighter note, my work’s ‘cycle to work scheme’ isn’t that bad and I’ve lost 10lbs so far.

Every cloud…


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