The scales of pain


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We have over a billion different unique emotions we can express at a given time, based on our current and previous dispositions.

The majority of those can act in unison

You can be hungry and tierd, you can also be frustrated and horny

You could be worried and comical

and You can be elated and refreshed at the same time.

Emotions exist in chaos in our minds beautifully mixing into one another via concious based osmosis.

Like the first 30 seconds of kids rushing out of class into a playground

However there is only one emotion that cannot be shared with any other

Pain.

Or perhaps to idenfity better, sorrow.

Sorrow is to emotions what civilization is to nature.

A more adult emotional reaction compared to other emotions (bare in mind, I don’t mean the reaction itself, rather how it manifests)

It forms an orderly queue when asks and simply waits indefinitely for something unknown to happen. I am unsure since one never really knows what is at the front of the line. And as quickly as it comes along it disbands, that is if you are lucky enough to get over it.

But it forms a queue infront of other emotions and thus blocks in all other potential emotions until the wait is over and done with. It is like a parent who’s been watching far too many episodes of supernanny that won’t allow it’s child to leave the table until it have finished everythign on its plate and will wait patiently up until that moment

The other funny thing about sorrow is that most of the time, sorrow is felt individually. Now I’m not saying that there aren’t multiple events leading up to the existence of a singular sorrow based emotion, however, most people can only feel bad for one thing at a time.

So while you can have a bunch of other emotions filling through the beans, sorrow is a isolated beast and alienates everything else.

Even other sorrow.

It’s hard to feel bad for one thing when you already are concentrating too much on another, if not impossible.

So now you have this sorrow barrier which means that you cannot feel anything else until it’s done and you can’t relate to any of the other bad things, or things in general until this cloud has passed.

Pretty much giving you emotional impotence.

What does that now make you?

Does that now make you dead inside?

Now imagine you’ve been in this queue of a singular sorrow for your entire life.

Giving up on the line movement, you decide to set up camp in the queue, like an avid gamer waiting for the release of Halo three outside the world’s worst game shop.

Soon you forget what everythign else feels like in comparison

Or even how to deal with the range of kids who may come and cause havoc to your new way found peace of order.

So the sorrow no longer becomes a bad place in comparison because you are left with nothing feasible to compare it to.

But you are still left unable to relate to anyone else because you are in the line of sorrow. This leaves you wildly detached from everyone else on a certain level, perhaps not physically but at least mentally.

But I ask you this.

Once you have learnt to adapt to a singular sorrow and managed to make it your home, why on earth really wish to be happy again and risk falling into a brand new scary one years later?

Is that not the real madness in this all?

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