14,610 days


my parents were fortunate and successful enough to celebrate 40 years of marriage.

40 years, wow



My entire life would only acount for 70% of the time they were married, they had already done ten years before they even thought about adding me to the line up.

That  means on a timescale side of things, I barely scrape a 1st in understanding them but if you take into account my adult life, That’s only 25% mark, Which means I completely fail in understanding their relationship. That’s not taking into account their courting before tying the knot

On this ceremonious occasion and through all the trials and tribulations, they have come this far. And in this honour, I humbly have only one thing I would like to have asked their younger selves o those forty years ago when they stood infront of one another in the house of God

NO i’m fucking serious,

This is something that will piss me off for a considerable amount of time but I can’t see it. I just can’t. I look at him and I look at her and I wonder why

It makes negative sense.I mean they are both fucking crazier than bag cheerios.

I thought this when i was three, five, 8, and pretty much everyday since i was 14 odd. I mean he asked her over 14 times, what the hell made her crack on go number 15. Oral sex? Naaaaaaaah, thhe Group Captain doesn’t swim, let alone dive.

Was it money, did he corrupt the incorruptible. Doubt it.

Is he swinging pipe?, if so, pretty sure none of my siblings inherited it 😦

What the hell did he do, what the hell did he say? I just can’t put my finger on it.


But there is one point I could make. Had any of them been with any other person, they certainly would have either killed them, completely broken them, or been bored to death.

And they certrainly wouldn’t have had me and three other of the most unique collected minds on this planet. Not that thta’s a good or bad thing. It all depends on who’s perspective you’re talking about.

Charles vs Eric

But to me, it’s simple

They are each other’s antithesis. Complete opposites. And in some dimension I haven’t yet managed to perceive them being happy.

How can two of the strongest individuals I’ve ever known manage to forge together a relationship? It would be binding together night and day and telling them to share a room, not just for a day but for potentially 3 generations of human life?

The truth always comes out in the end

However there is one thing I am sure of

The day one of them passes, the other won’t last very long, regardless of all their bravado. They are tied by a change of fate. When one falls, the other awaits a huge tug on this change and a fate worse than death if they are unfortunate enough to stay alive

And on this day, not only will I see one of them break for the first time but I’ll have a completely different interpretation of their relationship unveiled to us.

When I saw black and white, they saw colour and magic

When i saw rage, they saw beautiful expression

When I saw jealousy, they saw passion

When i saw coldness, they saw support

When I saw their flaws, they saw my potential

When I saw detrimental, they saw the  testing of their faith in one another.

and when I did see them happy, they saw something I probably won’t be able to comprehend till I’m there by a death bed waiting for a loved one to pass away.

Everything, An All encompassing beautiful moment of ectasy.

As intense as your first breath of air on the day you were born.

A plague on both your houses

I’ve decided to agree to disagree with the both of them and just leave them to it. They are adults afterall.

As long as they are both happy being miserable, I can be miserable being happy for them, if just for a second. Even though I still can’t put my finger on it.

I don’t know  much, but I know they love each other,

That may be all I need to know…

As One finger points forward, 3 point back

But then I’ve been in things that have only made sense to me, to the outside observer, it mades no sense either.

Infact, to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a relationship that DID make sense. I’m one of those people who pays double fare to fly in the plane with one engine.

So maybe I do understand, or I am embarking on a voyage to understand.

And they all lived happily ever after

In any case let me say this.

People always tend to judge relationships from the outside and misjudge them. You see happy or fake facades and instinctively, you try and protect people or push them into making decisions that you think is best for them.

AS LONG AS BOTH PARTIES ARE STRONG, Compus mentus and are both financially free, I would say let them get on with it.

The cinderella story only accounts for a tenth of the real life requirements to make something work, or even to not make it work. We should broaden our horizons and be open to take the dirt back scenic route to happiness rather than the disney prescribed motorways. Maybe more of us will eventually make it that far then, instead of running away and hitchhiking our way back to singleton city so often.

The dirt trail certainly makes reflection of the view from the 14,610 meter high peak, that bit sweeter when you get there. That’s for sure, old eyes don’t lie.

So again, with all my heart, I offer you MR and Mrs Pleut Snr…


…my commiserations… you old crazy shits…

Let’s try and get through one anniversary without one of you soiling yourselves in public again, one can only hope