Aw Heeeeeeeeelllll nooo!!!!!!

Just recently I had been going down to London to interact with some of my friends and to say my goodbyes before heading up to Aberdeen.

So she recently decided to draw a caricature of me and low and behold, she drew it

mini me

The thing that got me wasn’t the trampy hair, or the ridiculous sideburns that don’t want to turn into a beard OR the trampy styled jeans that came with the attire. It was the bastard had a computer on it

Ha, I had to chuckle, she had only seen me for three days and her whole new experience of me must have had me spent on my friend’s laptop the entire time.

It seems that I had picked up a couple of habits since I had seen a couple of them. This did make me chuckle and kinda made me address the amount of time I have spent on the internet.

You see before I left school, I had barely used the internet at all. I had foreseen myself getting incredibly addicted to it and I’ve always been one to kinda stay at least one step behind the most technologically advanced ones of us. I suppose it is in a retaliation to my mother specifically being a gadget fiend and always wanting the latest of everything.

I suppose I have subconsciously subdued the need to keep up to date as I’ve always felt the ramifications of the financial cost it would take to stay cutting edge and to keep all your children cutting edge. It soon adds up and I found myself simply managing what I had for as long as possible and then updating to the next relevant technology at a far cheaper rate while everyone else just kinda of forks out their kidneys for the latest iyawn gadget

I seem to find it easy to kill time on here. The amount of resources that have gone into researching and killing boredom with various website on here is absolutely ridiculous. I normally have at least five different screens on looking at three different things and talking to at least two different people on here.

In my hay day, I would spend countless hours in a forum and quickly racked up a stupidly high amount of posts on a comic book forum arguing out really mundane things like the colour scheme used for the hulk’s skin.

This made my heart content.

But has this had an adverse affect on my social skills at all. Or have I just adopted another means of being sociable. I’ve always considered myself to sit on the fine line between living life and documenting it and sometimes can feel that I am happy to be a spectator of things, especially in times of hibernation.

During my PhD when money was tight and the internet was free, I had almost used the internet as a form of a social crutch to keep me sane in times and crazy hours of having to do work

But it kinda became a self fulfilling prophecy, because the amount of time I spent on the net soon became to become one of the reasons why things would take so long to do. I would find myself continually procrastinating in getting things and work done. And this would never happen when I had acres of work to do, but always always always when I could eventually start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

One could even say that me writing this very piece is a procrastination of the work and research I am supposed to do for my meeting on Tuesday morning with my work. But I do generally find that I produce my best work when I am under copious amounts of pressure and with a crazy deadline to work to. Unfortunately though, my bosses may beg to differ. I do remember this one time, I had done literally no work for a quarterly presentation and tried to fit it all into a 2 week schedule. I thought I had completely Aced the presentation, and while those who had no idea on the subject agreed, my bosses were less than impressed,

I can’t even fault them, I was utterly completely undeniably and shamelessly rubbish at my last job, and I don’t even care. That is the real shame, I probably wouldn’t have done anything differently if I had the chance to, apart from perhaps go on more random and international adventures and milked it completely for what it was worth. I won’t be expecting a decent reference from them any time soon, suckers…..

But I digress

I have always wanted to eventually go back and do some work back in Africa, as well as in other parts of the world. I was happy to get stuck in and reintegrate myself in local African communities, learn local dialects and just try and empathise with the everyday local communities, the middle class, the rich the poor and just get a first hand view what life there is really like and what are the real obstacles in place stopping ridiculously advanced progress from happening.

But I got hit by a bolt of lightening the other day.

I came up to Aberdeen for an assessment centre and realised that there were a couple of Nigerians also applying for roles within my company.

I asked one of them what life was like out there since I hadn’t been back for a long time

and she said, yeah it was good, up and coming, things are better but there’s still no light and there is no good internet connection and

Before she could even finish her sentence I said

 ‘WHAAAAAA, no internet!!!!!’

the words came out of my mouth without any form of intellect, they were a pure knee jerk reaction to the statement. She looked at me a lil puzzled and went, yeah.

Now my knee jerk reaction was


I can’t be staying anywhere without any internet, and this is weird because I managed a whole stint in America without regular access but that was more of a fact I chose not to go on and pay stupid prices for internet centres (which were few and far between by the way, it’s all crazy wireless out here not,). But the thing was I still had a choice, it was there if I wanted it but I chose not to take it. It is the same as if you choose not to have a cigarette while you have some, it’s better than not having that option and being a million miles away from a shop (especially when nicely inebriated (3rd drink cigarette is the stuff of champions)

Heck I even managed without a mobile phone for a large stint of it and a lot of people would think that is far worse. I would much rather give up, it’s a pile of junk. I seriously don’t get people who can’t live without their phones but I guess I am becoming a lot like them with regards to the internet.

But of course this isn’t going to put me off wanting to go back. But going completely cold turkey may take a while to handle. I suppose while I am writing this, I am not really on the internet as such, I’m sat in a hostel typing while a dodgy dude is sleeping on the couch next to me, while listening to Bucci singing ‘turn me on’ in an ironic twist of fate.

I guess just having access to some sort of computer would be adequate and now that I do, I should be fine. Besides I will be too engrossed in absorbing culture to give a shit.





Yeah right.


I don’t give a shit what Kanye west says about me and michael myers can give me the strangest looks in the world, I’m with George W Bush on this one.

Right, I’m off to find some hyper super fast broadband. I’ve learnt how to download porn, I’m off to go do some weight lifting

Later bitches