Colourless green eyes, sleep furiously

At First I was lost

You know when things finally makes sense to you, you can look back into the past and connect the dots to find out exactly why certain things played out the way they did and why they are, the way they were.

Like untying yourself from a big ball of string



Or when you  eventually find out every time you sneezed at a friend’s house, it wasn’t because he left the window open all the time, but infact because you are allergic to his cats.

Or like when you somehow have an eerie feeling that you know or have met a random stranger before, and realise that some of their mannerisms remind you of someone famous (and that’s why you like em).

Or like you realise that the mannish looking lady at work WAS actually a man (even though you ended up kissing her at last year’s Christmas party and ignored a groin oriented grope you gave her, one you originally thought was your alcohol induced mind playing tricks with you).

The cause and effect manner in which we originally saw events plays out becomes redundant, and is replaced with one that makes far more sense, and your previous uncertainty or ill-perceived reality is laid to rest.

Well allow me to take you through a very similar notion


And then I found you

About 2 1/2 years ago, I got into an online comic called Bleach. It’s written by Tite Kubo and I’ve put some of his work and spoken about some of his characters before here. You can find links inspired to stuff I’ve already written below


It’s lonely at the top

Nihilism Unmasked

Who am I?



So while I was trying to catch up on some of the older more relevant comics, I came across this page in an issue and immediately, the middle panel came out and jumped at me. I just couldn’t turn the page.



It shows a picture of a character known as Nelliel Du Wondershwank (or Nell). I won’t go into too much detail on her bio but it can be found at this link for anyone who reads this and becomes interested in knowing more about her.



The worst part is that the original picture was in black and white and it stuck out to me as clearly as this colourful vision before you, like a 3d diagram coming to life infront of me. I decided to use this partly coloured version in order to illustrate the phenomenon to you.



This pan simply says it all. I could literally talk about it all fucking day long. Both  inside and outside the context  of the page/issue the image comes from.


 Now I know I will never make it home

For example

What are the crimson scars underneath her eyes? Are they to indicate sunburn with respect to too much time in the sun on her frail skin or to indicate shyness or another unknown emotion?

Why is she so sad?

There is flying debris in the background, yet she remains unphased by it all. Why is that?

Why is she so sad?

We are unaware if she is locked in combat or a victim of an onslaught. Who or what is she fighting against or with?

Why is she so sad?

She has a scar coming down from her face. The scar is in lined with her skull ram shaped helmet.  A helmet/facemask which is indeed also broken? Why is she wearing a broken helmet that seems to have been damaged previously (leading to her being hurt)?

Why is she so sad?

Does the ram skull have any significance  or have anything to do with anything else?

Why is she so sad?

Is her face a representation of frustration, indifference, boredom, confusion, irritation, sadness, a lack of empathy or void of all emotions altogether?

Why is she so sad?

Her gaze is clearly locked on something but what or whom is she staring at and why so intently? Has she come to engage them, or has she been engaged. Are they aware of her presence or is she attempting to sneak up upon someone? What possible relationship could she have formed with this individual that has caused the events to unfold as they have?

Why is she so sad?

Her clothes appear torn but she is not worried in the slightest about her appearance. Even with her clothes being in a state, her hair is still glistens incredibly. But why is she wearing tattered clothing?

Why is she so sad?

Is she the victim of circumstances of actually the culprit of many unforetold atrocities? Is she infact on the verge on committing another one of these potential heinous actions?

The ultimate thing that strikes me is why, why why is there so much sadness in her eyes.

And then it struck me like a bolt of lightening.

I was attracted to her.


As I am destined to remain here

Dont get me wrong, she is a beautifully drawn character but it wasn’t as if I wanted to have any kinda sexual relations with her, that would be weird even for me. But she had a character trait that I found myself normally attracted to in people. But I didn’t quite know what? Or maybe an attachment to something potentially in the recesses of my mind.

But I found it disturbing how a character drawn in a single pan could indeed have a personality trait at all, especially without any dialogue, let alone one that would attract someone’s attention/affection. SO I tried to decide exactly what it was I was attracted to.

Initially, I thought it had to do with the fact that she wore green clothing.

I mean now that i think about it, there is definitely something going on about her being green as i seem to have an affinity to characters that are green. Or maybe just greenish things in general


rock lee



nigerian flag

dr doom

green ranger

ulquoirra schiffer (his eyes)


swamp thing


esmerelda (hottest disney character)

The green destiny sword from Crouching tiger hidden dragon

Kit Fisto


Until I make you smile

It’s weird, blue eyes will always triumph green ones and my favourite colour is clearly yellow, but I have far less examples of  those  than my relationship with the green.


Ichimaru Gin Flower.

Even though, this is somewhat of an interesting trait that may be coincidental, I may come back to revisit this point while doing research on the use of colours in media to portray certain personalities/emotions. I suppose naturally one would assume green refers to something regards to neutrality or nature orientated.

**strokes beard and ponders**

but even so, it didn’t seem to be that. Not in this case

After further study (which was incredibly difficult as I kept finding myself getting lost in the portrait rather than trying to analyse it objectively), regardless of everything that is going on in that picture, I am forever just drawn to her eyes. They kept my full attention with complete effortless ease. But the reasons the eyes stood out was also due to the plain expressionless look on her face. Had her eyes been closed, she would almost look asleep



And then I noticed something about myself.

I have always been attracted to the sadness in the faces of others.



In a crowd of people, I will always been drawn to the one with the quiet attitude and the deep soulful eyes, that is of course unless one happens to have a bomb strapped to them, then I will go for them (controversy is still my first love me thinks).

I even have a really bad habit of stretching out arguments just so I can prolong the angry gleer in people. Or tripping over children and fighting through the tears so they can have that sobby face. I suppose that’s why I find people with ill faces attractive, the puffy eyes and runny nose look is so alluring. I know I know, don’t look at me like that. I’m a true true sadist.

Again, not necessarily moping but quiet sadness. Or what I would like to call inherent sadness, it always gets me. I just want to hold them indefinitely, I’m not even sure if it as attempt to make them feel better. An idealised outlook on this is that I can probably relate to their deep sadness and perhaps helping hold them together through there difficult times means I can maybe help myself through mine. Or simply just sharing pain with another individual for a short period of time might  ligthen the burden. of my own Who knows

But then maybe I have completely misread the situation.

Perhaps her eyes aren’t sad at all, maybe she is indeed just simply angry, but not a raging anger, a complete controlled deep rooted frustration that has manifested within those eyes of hers. It would be almost impossible to distinguish between them. But perhaps her look sits at the membrane between anger and sadness and that is why it is so striking.


Because your smile is my home

This post also brings up interesting notions.

Awhile ago, people were trying to provide some form of natural order in the english language to make it better/more efficient to teach to others. In a similar way that elements could be organised into the building blocks of any known entity, nouns, pronouns, adjectives, adverbs, verbs, prepositions etc could be organised to form any sentence.

What is even more special is that some people believe this natural order is genetically passed on and just needs to be untapped via education etc.

With this, they believed that people could form any type of sentence using what they referred to as the probabalistic models of grammar.

So in comes a gentleman called Noam Chomsky, who decided that this statistical approach was far too simplistic and decided to cleverly put something up to counteract it. In his 1955 thesis, ‘Logical Structures of Linguistic Theories’ he suggested that there was not necessarily a direct correlation between being coherent and being grammatically correct. Or has he put it, the difference between syntax and semantics.


But I am not yet worthy

With this he threw out this sentence.


 Colourless green ideas, sleep furiously.


A sentence which technically followed the earlier rules to the letter, while also having an infinitesimal chance of ever being uttered. This is as the sentence has no coherent context to attach itself to.

With this, Chomsky had forced the industry to adapt the way they thought about the English language and also the way they dissected it to make it easier for others to understand.

Artistically though, he had created something far more beautiful. He had created perfect nonsense.

An at the time, priceless one of a kind thing of literal beauty,which holds absolutely no meaning or value what so ever. It simply exists to reflect the beauty and ugliness of language in one fair swoop.


But you always get the killjoys out there and even to this day, there are challenges for young scholars in order to make coherent sense of this statement, but all to no avail. No strict translations anywho, some cheeky buggers have provided alternate meanings to words such as green (envious, young, fresh, etc) to make it more coherent. But I think that’s cheating.

I think it’s meaning is to have none. Because of that I think it’s beautiful as it is , simply beautiful.



 So I must go and become lost once more

The mind plays tricks on us all and I am a great victim of this turmoil. You see, unfortunately , it had been a while since I had read this piece and had originally learned about Noam’s piece of art. So when recently asked to recite it, the statement had changed to


 Colourless green eyes sleep furiously.


Which still makes no sense in all fairnesss but seems to run off the tongue a lil better (with the use of eyes rather than ideas). It has more of a poetic flair to it personally when looking at the harmonics of saying it.


Pointless endless nonsense, endless nonsense pointless, nonsense pointless endless

So going back to the comic, subconsciously I think I have done something really special.

So you can imagine what happened when I see that picture of Nell, with her raging green eyes only shown in black and white with what appears to be in a dormant rage. And I have this elegant slightly altered sentence that has been crying out for a  meaning all this time.

I doth became the Harry Houdini of the Cat world.

I had made sense of the senseless sentence, or taken a diagram in context that made sense and made it senseless.

Either way I had married a phrase and a picture together. A phrase destined to be single, alone, unique and forever misconstrued and a picture of anger incarnate but with no one to talk to or share it with, a mute hatred in a jail of its own inability to communicate.


 If these two solitary entities can find solace in each other, maybe, just maybe, there is hope for us all.


By the by, this all took place in about 8 seconds in real time. Wait till I tell you about my best sneeze ever, hold on to your horses…

At first I was lost

Then I found you

now I know I will never make it home

As I am destined to hold you

until you smile

Because your sunshine was my home

But I am not yet worthy

So I must go and become lost once more

Pointless endless nonsense,

Endless nonsense pointless,

Nonesense pointless endless