Les Femmes….Je ne comprends pas…
This is something I am incapable of understanding.
Now this may clearly be because I consider myself to be normal but an increasing number of people are suggesting that my thought process is skewed.
The problem now is in why do people seem to fall out with me over the smallest things?
There’s a definite system to it
I’m a bit meh about it since i access it’s no biggie
my assessment of the problem leads to minimal effort going in to deal with it
this action causes an equal and opposite overeaction
My response is only ever goign to be to the initial incident
Inability to deal with subsequent overeaction becomes a greater issue than original action
Continue till spiralled out of control (or I end up dead)
The words ones especially get me because while i’m incredibly cryptic most of the time, in general conversation, i tend to be very blunt, so to have someone perceive me as being anything more than what i’m trying to be is just plain annoying.
And why is it that my friends are capable of seeing this notion and interacting with me on a ‘normal’ level where my words and actions carry the same amount of weight as they are worth. With regards to my friend circle and to strangers, I’m known as a pacifier, while in a relationship, the very same words and actions are seen as aggrevating behaviour.
Giving Practical Advice
Now here is the real clinchers, Alot of people that i meet i will tell them that i like mischief and all sorts and what tends to happen is that this sentence is misconceived.
I don’t like to spend time delving over incredibly tedious antics (and maybe they think this is the type of mischief that I like). On the opposite scale of the spectrum, I don’t like having pontentially relationship saving conversations all the time. I know i’m naturally good at coercing people into doing something that is at the very least mutually beneficial but I don’t want to bring out those guns all the time. soon the time comes when you think you are the only person in a relationship and you are constantly having to bolt the door to keep the other party involved.
Now this isn’t to mean that I wouldn’t purposely try to derail a great thing for the fun of it but generally when i do, do this, I can’t hide a massive smile on my face. Good drama is fun because both parties understand that at the end of the day, it’s harmless. It’s when stuff starts spilling into the catastrophe barell unexpected that you start then scratching your head.
It doesn’t even seem to be the issues themselves rather my reactions to them, i don’t kno wwhy but it’s just a bit… Maybe I just can’t see the tiny but isn’t it better to be able to see the big wide picture rather than concentrate on a small aspect. or does it have to do with map scales. are these small deviaitons for other people the first path in steering the relationshp into some unforetold doom in the future. how come doom is so easy to steer into apparently and so difficult to steer out of.
Or maybe i just can’t read between the lines and understand the real issues. but then again I’ve always said if there is a fundamental issue with something it’d be nice to address it. I’ve never really be one to be angry about one thing and have a row over another. What ever gives me some of my clarity also tends to cause me to be short sighted.
It doesn’t necessarily help that i’ve been brought up in a relatively waaaa free cultulre. Actually quite the opposite can be said, i live and have lived with moaners, the world’s best moaners, the types that make people on the doll and homeless people go ‘shut the hell up’. My natural empathy to people is low and is far lower when the issue isn’t being address and stuff is being skimmed. Imagine if there was a house fire and instead of the fire alarm going off, you had some kelis’ ‘i hate you so much right now’ or ‘nelly’s it’s getting hot in here’ on the radio. Precise action can only be dealt with precise communication.
Now alongside this, I’ve just watched something on arranged marriages and you always think that they are apparently a bad idea because they relieve people of choice. But it does have something to it.
You see while you can have disputes, there is a sense of inevitability of getting things sorted because there is no option to get rid of said partner. So in a sense you do have to deal with turd as you are both kinda stuck with one another. You end up both working on a bigger scale when you realise that forever really is forever.
Don’t get me wrong, when you decide to leave things alone,m having an argument or disagreement last forever means that you end up in a hell hole for all your days. But i suppose the principle is trying to get over the lil things because its all about winning the war and not getting worked up about the entirity of the battle.
But when do you then get a chance to refocus and realise that the battle actually is the war. Is that worth going into a confrontation for or is it something you just leave alone.
Playing Devils’ Advocate
I suppose I’m not a natural fighter for things, i don’t see the point but does this mean i don’t naturally care or just that i don’t want to engage in a life of ironing out the nitty gritty. i mean a shirt doesn’t have to be perfectly ironed in order to wear it, byt the time you put it on, it’s bound to obtain some wrinkles and it’s just about making it presentable.
or maybe this is a real value of my self worth and I seriously see myself quite low and 10 times out of 9, would believe someone is better off without me than with me, so there is nothing to lose from us both going our separate ways.