At Her Mercy…
Back in….oh, when was it, must have been 2008, My mom had the delight of turning 60. Having been a rubbish child for the majority of her birthdays, and easters and anniversaries and mother’s day and Christmas’ (you can notice a trend here), I thought (alongside my sister) that we should at least make some effort for her 60th bash. As many of you are aware, I’m generally a big occasion kinda guy so I thought this would be a good chance to make the effort.
So my sister and I both kinda came up with the notion of getting her a tribute book with lil tidbits pics and statements from her brothers, sisters, kids and hubster. It turned out she really likes it and still carries it with her till this day.
Anywho, from that book, I wanted to share with you my entry for it. The reason for this is that on her actual day during the proceedings we had arranged, I thought I’d get up and read it to her. Considering it was written in quite an emotionless form, I was quite taken back about how moving it was to say the words aloud, especially with her reaction just infront of me. I ended up crying like a baby all the way through it. This dear sirs and madam, I believe was the last time I had a good ol whimper in public. My brother has a video of it, I may take a hit out on him to destory the evidence, it’s not pretty…
Don’t get me wrong folks, I’m still a heartless soul, I just thought I would share my vulnerabilities with you as the only way to clog up a hole is to either clog it up, or make it wider into a door and simply relay out your interior.
So here you go. Here is the said piece.
To my Mother,
In over 25 years, I never have, and never will meet anyone who has directly contributed to the man I am today more than yourself.
You disciplined me as a child and showed me right and wrong as well as the true meaning of values.
You encouraged me to be active and widen my realm of knowledge.
You enlightened me to the views of many cultures and societies around the world, not to mention various classes.
You motivated me to excel throughout all forms of education.
You never showed any negative bias towards any of my peers throughout life and helped me not show any bias towards anyone.
You kept my eyes open to the issues of the world and never allowed me to be naive to the wrongs of humanity.
You steered me away from unfortunate times with conditioned mentorship from youth (and always will for the rest of my days).
You picked me up through the physical and mental trials of my life, even at a direct expense to yours.
You relished in my achievements and have cried on my behalf when I have been too scared to.
You instilled an unbridled passion and recognition of self worth and ability, that makes even the remotest failures seem like a complete impossibility.
You cleared any obstacles that may have come between myself and my goals, some of which I will never even know existed.
All of this was done without any essence of reward, duty, obligation or merit and with the up most generosity of a Saint.
You are my magnetic north.
There is nothing I can do, no words, no amount of charity, faith or substance than can return the amount of gratitude I have. Not within this lifetime or 2, could I express truly what you have done for me.
All I can hope for is that if I can instil a day’s worth of your love, guidance, protection and candour into my entire paternal term, then in no doubt your spirit will live among your offspring for generations and generations.
With this I beg and Pray,
Your Beloved Sunshine.
(me as a tiny drop in the Ocean, first day as precipitation)