Lovestoned…


The interaction between two potential individuals embarking on that perilous route into forever can be described via various metaphors. The history of literature and some of the greatest (and worst) writers had done their fair share of trying to simplify such a journey. A lot of people have actually dedicated their entire lives to simply describing the beginning and ends of this journey in a never ending cycle of hope and dismay in order to capitalise from the masses.

But for some reason, no real time is spent dealing with the intermittent part of things. It’s almost as if someone has put an imaginary finish line at simply managing to find someone to spend your free time with. But if life was so simple, then why do relationships end up falling apart.

One point which may be made is the hardest part of any real relationship is the relationship itself, not the initial getting into it, or the break up, but simply being in one. The sorely overlooked middle where one would think things occur on an autopilot and you reside into your happily ever after.

It’s kinda like curling. A stone has to get from a throwers hands to place itself perfectly in the centre of a circle. In the real life love equivalent, we expect the initial push from the thrower, as accurate and powerful as it may be, to transcend that long icey path, in a perfectly weighted manner to land in ‘happily ever after’s dead centre without a hitch. And that’s a First stone/relationship. Imagine 9 stones down the line where dead centre is shrouded with other stones, the thrower’s tired and aim is off and obstacles and the Icey track is no longer as smooth as it was in days gone by. Even the greatest stone throwers who have the ability to dodge and curl those relationships around the greatest obstacles can’t rely on that initial push alone.

That’s why in curling, they have those two sweepers. Their jobs are to take that stone from its initial romantic push and enhance its path and takes its natural course.

Now that is not to say that all stones are designed to make it to the perfect centre, some stones are there purely to remove other stones from previous throws which have lodged themselves in a prime location. These are known to you and I as rebound relationships. These are tactfully thrown stones performed in a strategic manner so the player can unravel a stalemate situation.

Nevertheless throughout all of this, it is ultimately the hard work of the sweepers in the mid sections that go unnoticed, they are the unsung heroes of the sport and also represent just how much work must go from handling a relationship in the sticky middle section. Managing to keep a stone on track at the right pace, speed and to make sure it doesn’t spiral out of control when you take your eye off it is an artform.

But when it comes to romance, we believe, this all comes in as standard. No one wants to put in the work anymore. I suppose ultimately what has changed is probably the amount of stones we have to throw at our disposal.

Back in the day when the world was a bigger place, some people were limited to just one stone. They had no choice but to throw it perfectly. your first throw was like the last in the olympic final. Obtaining silver place was never an option. What also has changed that people haven’t noticed is that sweet spot of a stone’s designation has become smaller and smaller with time and seems further away as well, making the art more competitive.

Noway days though, with a world being smaller and more emphasis on the thrower rather than the sweeper, people are armed or believed to be armed with a infinite amount of stones to their disposals. It’s almost as if they are in a practice run,(with no sweepers) where a pefect stone launch is just as valued as a bad one. But even when the perfectly weighted throw of initial romance does rise, no one has bothered to clear the aftermath of previous attempts and it ends up not being ‘perfect’ anymore as it serrates on the frosty ice and collides with the debris of previous attempts. But the thrower is none the wiser and simply continues on as ultimately, they have time and stones to try and get it right.

It does seem a shame though, only with a lil effort and additional direction as well as the odd scream from the throwers down the line (HARD HAAAAARD), what appears to be miscalculated and poor judgement in the beginning can be guided towards something that dumbfounds critics and causes the masses to rise in your glory. These throws are best noted for the efforts of the thrower being underminded in reflection to the hard determination of the sweepers and ultimately the final result. The whole journey itself is only remembered as occurring in hindsight while the team basque in the glory of ultimate victory.

I suppose one of the best things is knowing when to sweep and when not to sweep. when to cut losses and when to realise your inadequacies in your initial aims that need counteracting. When to ultimately trust in the work of others in order to support the initial spark. An initial spark  that so many people seem to wish to want to sell their souls to maintain throughout entire curling motion.

The only issue comes back to the original point. The middle is fucking difficult. It is not as easy as simply sweeping (HAAAARD, haha). Don’t get me wrong, I am not undermining the work of the professional curling athletes, but their work still pales to the overtly complex actions of human interactions. There’s no indication of knowing when/where to sweep, and for how long and how intensely. Even s, since its a team sport, the two of you are up there sweeping together and you may decide its a lost stone while someone else is being frantic and it’s impossible to both give up the ghost at the same time. And there’s no olympic coach to guide you. Even the best ones in the world are likely to throw a wobbly and have fluked their own perfect stones under far less under-siege conditions, only to quote theoretical bullshit in your ear which is as good as Kate Mccan’s guide for keeping your kids safe while on holiday.

IN the end though it’s all completely pointless overthinking anything, like any sportstar will tell you, you don’t want to hit the wall or let the game get inside your head. So you must forever persevere. Just make sure that you are aware that even though you are capable of that perfect stone and there is no real guide for that sweeping undernoted middle ground, know you can turn any bum shot into a complete masterpiece if you want to, and that not all perfectly weighted initial sparks of a relationship are destined to make their way to the score hole, not without some HAAAAARRD work. Heh

Fact of the day: This stupid post was supposed to be about flowers, I’m still going to have to write that one, balls

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