Crimson Mergers – The Fundamentals of what makes a Great Kisser

You must remember this…

Most people would say the start of any romantic interaction ultimately begins with the kiss.

Personally I believe this isn’t the case.

The start of any romantic involvement with someone starts when either partner begins giving out signals that lead to reciprocating feelings by the other party.

Something as subtle as eyes contact or the subconscious mutual release of pheromones could start this off.

Then of course comes the dilating eyes, the scent of their aroma, the increased heart rate and shortened breath, the electricity coming from accidentally touching and the long slow agonising build up to the kiss.

However I do believe the kiss is probably the most important interaction between two people.

It reveals everything about you and your potential roles in the relationship. It highlights the liker from the liked, it details what type of lovers you both are, it’s also the preliminary indicator on exactly how hot the chemistry really is between you.


A Kiss is still a kiss…

I see being kissed and kissing as two different things, exploration and gratification in an continually oscillating wave, which many people find hard to decipher.

You give and take simultaneously in this never ending continual feedback loop, which is forever being altered as you are tied into someone else’s system as well. This loop is not only self perpetuating but grows exponentially when it reaches its natural frequency, then it can er…cause some wet patches 🙂

Normally here, I would go into the dos and donts of a good kiss but with age, I’ve kinda noticed it’s not so cut and dry. The funny thing is  there is so much middle ground and everyone has their own spin on it.

What I feel sorry for are those who are generally bad kissers, who go through life believing they are good, because those are the experiences they associate with having hot chemistry with someone.

What’s even worse is that no one has been nice enough to tell them and they continue on at it, the poor bastards


A sigh is just a sigh…

There is an interesting concept on kissing symmetry, most people do generally like to be kissed the way they kiss for some reason.

I’ve noticed this and used to forsake my own style and simply mimic those of others in order to fulfill their criteria of what constituted a good kiss.

It also highlights a crazy phenomenon as shown below.

If per say, you got two bad kissers to kiss one another, and if they had symmetry, they would be amazing kissers to each other and all the details, one would normally associate with a good kiss, would cease to matter.

It would mean that sloppy mess of a kiss which would cause most people to throw up in their mouths, would be the epitome of perfection for them (even if they manage to clash teeth and end up suffocating themselves with rolled up tongue thrusts), no matter how disgusting it actually was. To each their mutual own.

Luckily though, the majority of people kiss in pairs (apart from my cousin Kevin, who prefers the mirror), and if you are clever enough, you can learn (or be taught) to kiss in better unison with your partner. Although for one person, this may mean learning to kiss or enjoying a kiss at a lower level than you’re used to.

If you are naturally the superior kisser, do the right thing and bring your partner up to speed on things. Alot of people take this for granted but your kissing techniques should evolve as a couple. If you both enjoy it and are open minded, you should find there is a special time in your relationship where your kisses become lil fucking pockets of orgasms exploding on your lips, and that is literally all you want to do.


The fundamental rules apply…..

A kiss without a spark is like starving a kitten of oxygen.

The little shit may look all fine and rosey but inside, it’s suffocating and with time will eventually die, in a somewhat cute manner.

It is the epicentre of all things romantic. Those who are crazy about each other can stay focused on the kiss and be happy kissing only, for hours and hours.

Then you soon find kissing gets relegated to a short interim period between you wanting sex and getting sex. Then it falls into the involuntary morning/night peck on the cheek before flopping its way out of a relationship altogether.

I would say the key to any good relationship is to be or stay with someone you want to kiss and wants to kiss you. Once the balance has been  upset and it’s any more or less, then the relationship is doomed to end in obscurity.

Kissing is always the first thing to go in a meaningful relationship and is a clear sign that the writing is on the wall for any loving couple.

I also think it’s the first thing you look for once you’ve wandered back into the cold harsh extremities of the single world .

While plenty wouldn’t particularly want to jump straight back into the rigmarole of being in a relationship again, it’s the warm solace that comes from a great kiss, that means something, that eventually drives us back into the madness.


As our lips pass by….

But kisses can be deadly and misleading  as well, normally those who aren’t great for you in the long run, end up being the best kissers, those who’s mouths and sexual rhythms fit yours perfectly.

They make your skin frazzle and your knees weak, they cause you to use a month’s supply of serotonin in the space of a few seconds, as your every being is overriden with either lust based infatuation or melancholy smitten smugness.

Worst of all, there is no known cure.

Succumbing to desire is the biggest airborne virus that affects mankind and a kiss, a real fucking great kiss is one of the clearest symptoms we have to show who’s infected.

As Daniel Walters once wrote for Batman Begins…


Misteltoe can be deadly

If you eat it,

But a kiss can be even deadlier

If you mean it…


If that’s the case, feel free to sign me up for some assisted suicide folks…