When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away ‘Most’ Childish Things…


Someone once asked me what I would do if I could do anything? This is what I said…

When i was younger i wanted to be 1 of 3 things.

UNO

I wanted to be a priest and a fighter pilot simultaneously. At a young age, I had understood the concept of universal balance and felt quite satisfied in the notion of saving as many lives as I would destroy. I found solance in that balance of leaving the world with no overall impact on it, as a visitor.

DOS

I wanted to be Gabrielle from Xena: warrior princess and follow her around everywhere wearing minimal clothing and a big stick. Renee O’connor is a LUCKY whore…

TRES

Then some time later I wanted to be red power ranger. Austin St John put in a stellar performance as Jason, the first courageous red leader of the Power Rangers.

Power Rangers is actually based off a japanese series known as Super sentai and Austin had the first translation of that 36 year-old institution, as a western/eastern hybrid.

over the years, many actors took on this role as red rangers and fulfilled their duty of inspiring youngsters to join interracial friend groups and go around kicking the shit outta each other in playgrounds worldwide.

Unfortunately I could only ever get to play the black ranger because of my skin colour. To a essence, I didn’t mind because  Walter Jones used to break dance while kicking ass and carry around a honking axe (mind the pun).

My luck however changed when Selwynn Ward played TJ, the first black red ranger in Turbo Rangers (5th season). This monumental occasion was written off as a politically correct fluke when Brandon Jay Mclaren played Jack, another Red Ranger in Rangers SPD, in 2005. So nyah…

Red rangers had some perks, They generally carried cool weapons, extra power ups, a sword had the best zords (or giant robots to you non-losers reading) and got to pick which of the two bird rangers they wanted to bone. They did however always have to dress in red though so I guess it was better than being a mahogany ranger. They were also the most badass until the super sixth ranger (which changed colour all the time (i.e. green, gold, silver, platinum, white)) came and kicked the shit outta all of them combined.

Sometimes, old red rangers would come back and become the sixth rangers in later series, such as Austin and the Legend that is jason Frank who played the irriresitable Tommy and has such stared in 4 separate ranger roles and nearly 260 eps.

In their newly reprised roles under different colours, they would have all the calm and assertive qualities that made the great leaders in the past, with that air of badassery to keep them going. You also got to steal the hot bint off the current red rangers arm. you also had your own unique robot that kicked ass on its own and didnt have to join with the other 5 losers. You also got to work part-time and get all the kudos for coming in at the end  (like the USA).

So even in different guises, they still had that red koolness dripping through

PLUS every once in a whle you get to team up with your other red rangers, kick SERIOUS ass and reminicse about the good ol days, that is until lord zedd (arguably the greatest fictional antagonist charcter design) comes into town and starts tearing everyone a new arsehole.

so I leave you this to accompany the video

Rangers are Red

violets are blue

They are so hot

they make me cum glue

In 2008, I had gone to a park with my exes dog. There was this other dog there whom had grown fond of attacking Thomas. I used to throw sticks at them and they would wrestle and run and terrorise each other (in a flirty way) till one gained the stick. Such ferrocity over something that didn’t matter.

Thomas once lay down huffing and puffing after one extraodrinary ordeal. He looked up at me after obtaining his prize and I said to him ‘It’s just a stick’, he gave me those ‘so what?’ eyes.

At that moment, I too looked up into the sky, as thomas looked up at me. I thought for a moment and looked at everything i was wearing, my shoes and what was in my pockets. I paused, looked back up again and said…

‘Touche God…Touche!’

It was then I had realised what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to engineer pivotal moments in other’s lives which would change their course forever.

The goal was mass change. The the trick was whether to engineer a unique thought simultaneously on a mass scale, or if to provide unique thoughts accross different people and have them all eventually come to the same conclusion on their own.

Leaping into the Unknown

Since I’ve always known mass change requires lightening quick coordination (before the powers that be toppel it), I’ve always been more partial to the former notion. However, one of my childhood heroes, shows the later is also possible.

In March 1989, Donald Bellisario’s masterpiece ‘Quantum Leap’ first aired.

The premise was a Scientist who was lost in time, & possessed various people throughout history and ‘righted wrongs in their life’ before moving on. It was the perfect mix of science fiction, fantasy, old fashioned story telling, drama, suspense and fantastic insight into social-economic history. The hero in this tale is called Doctor Samuel (Sam) Beckett and is timelessly portrayed by the ever talented Scott Bakula

Since he possessed these entities he had the unique experiences of ‘walking a day in their shoes’ literally. The strongest stories were always those where he portrayed abused women, african americans, disabled & mental health issues folk. He also interacted with soon to be famous people and was shown being the catalyst for them doing great things.

When I was younger, I sometimes wondered whether this world was the one needing fixing in the show, it wasn’t until I watched the ‘Lee Harvey Oswald’ ep where I realised that Bellisario wanted the world we’re in now, as the one Dr Beckett has created, thus saving each and everyone of us from hell single handedly. Isn’t that a crazy thought all by itself?

You always hear things like one man can’t make a difference and then a show like this comes along and shows you not only they can but they really do. The overall premise is that once we’re all set on our right courses wit hno distraction, we can find our real purpose for being here.

Even that timeless biblical story ‘Footsteps’ has the great line, ‘All those times in your life when you going through difficult things and saw only one set of footsetps, it was then that I carried you’,  I think God stole that Racket from Sam Personally. I make a strong argument for his impact on history being greater than Jesus’ but then people start looking at me funny.

Le Answer

so with this, I can answer with great pride that If i could be anything in the world, I’d be a Quantum Leaper (who got to leap into red rangers at the weekend (and gabrielle on my birthdays)).

Voila and marvel at my pefect answer to a timeless question.

Oh Boy…

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