The Purpose Prayer…


As I Kneel here before you today, oh lord, as I did two weeks ago, I have come up with answers as to who out of my last 22 relationships I should marry.

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But allow me to refresh your mind about all of them and their motivations first.

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She wants me as a trophy boyfriend to show off to her friends and family

She wants me because I make her feel better about herself

She wants me as a friend with benefits

She  want me because of the way I hold her when she’s feeling sad or lonely

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She wants me because she’s scared no one else will

She wants me because she’s in awe of me

She wants me for the challenge of ultimately understanding me

She wants me only for the sex, the wild wild sex

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She wants me because I’m a calming influence on her

She wants me because she likes the way I engage her intellect in conversations

She wants me because we share a strong common interest in literally everything

She wants me because I make her laugh uncontrollably

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She wants me to join her long list of Pets

She wants me because I hurt her and she wants to teach me a lesson

She wants me because I push her to become a better person

She wants me for my sense of freedom and purpose

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She wants me because I’d make a good father

She wants me because she thinks I’m rich

She wants me only when ‘He’ is busy

She wants me because she can’t twist me round her little finger like the rest

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And then there’s the last two…

She is a complete ignima to me….I don’t even know why she’s here, I’m sure she doesn’t want me.

and

She.. *sigh*…she is just…..WoW…

*clenches fists and eyes shut and thinks hard*

….

*sighs*

I have to admit

of everyone here

I believer ‘her’  specific reason I listed for me are the most legitimate,

please allow me to marry her

or put me out of my misery

As life without her

Is simply not life at all.

Amen

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