The Perfect Date (sponsored by the Backstreet Boys)

I know i’m mildly crazy but I don’t know why…. take this into consideration when I put this notion on the table

We meet in a club randomly, raw animal attraction

you invite me back to yours

we get in a cab

half way home you military role out of that mofo

you start boming it through the traffic

I take persuit

you take position at the top of a building while i’m looming on the street

you take aim and open fire with rubber pellets belting me to shit

i take solace in an abonened supermarket you’ve rigged

you turn out the lights

I run through the back exit

find some keys you’ve laid on for me

take a ride in the car to my friend’s hotel

walk up to their room

pelt in the door and explain there’s a crazy woman after me

he walks me downstairs to his car with a noisy boot

we start driving

all of a sudden i hear the boot pop

I check mirrors to see my friend has fallen out of back tied up with dynamite

you take off mask to reveal yourself as driver

you turn car round and drive towards friends

you do another roll (this time hotter than the first)

I try to take control fo the car but end up rolling myself

I do a bomb dive while car blows up friend (never liked him anyway)

you run into nearest apartment buildning

i follow

we go up stairs to the roof

you jump off roof into highest story building

you land delicately in a crouched position

you turn round and aim bazooka at my position

i follow jumping off exploding rooftop

i collapse on my front

lights turn on to find millions of pictures of me and bloody voodoo dolls and shit everywhere

i look around perplexed

you stab me in the chest

I fall to my knees

I get out a engagement ring and ask you not to kill me

you say, not yet…

you torture me happily ever after


(ps, kevin richardson(aka the last backstreet boy) is some hot shit))

pps, the leading lady in this video may actually be perfect. Well bar steph of course