Finally, Christianity and Everything But the Girl agree on something

I’ve always found it hard to discuss love but there is this great lil gem that I got from church that encapsulates it

Unfortunately, as extensive and vast as the english language is, it lacks the finess to do justice to many different words and phrases. In its essence to be delicately intrinsic and articulate, it’s become crass and degenerate in the explanation of some of life’s most basic attributes. The  irony is we have the beautiful phrase ‘lost in translation to describe such phenomenon’, oh the irony.


Those greeks have this lovely passage they translated from Hebrew in the bible, where Jesus asks one of his disciples three times whether he loves him or not, and each time the disciple say yes, he loves him. However the plot twist is this. Those greeks have THREE words for love

Eros –  Desire / Intimate love

Felio – A love for a friend

Agape – All encompassing/Gary Glitter love

Jesus says, do you ‘Agape’ me, and the disciple says he ‘Felio’ him.

Basically the BIG JC gets put in the friend zone. This tickles me, since i think this is a much worse fate than getting crucified but that’s another story.

The terminology or love has been filtered and misconstrewed for millenia to a point where it does not resemble a shadow of its former self. Many of us recite and use it with only a crumble of its true essence, especially in relationships.

To AGAPE is to never leave and to never give up, to never leave a man behind, to persistently stroll through the fire, with no sense of reward or gratitude. Agape is also often translated as ‘charity’, which i think is a lovely pseudonym for love as it pretty much encapsulates the true essence of being with a person. you offer yourself to make them feel more whole, with a selfless attitude towards it.

Now everything but the girl have this beautiful song called Temperamental. In it the lead singer is berrating her loved one (i’m sure all of you who’ve been mature enough tohave long term relationships understand this point).

in it she makes this beautiful point

I don’t want you to love me, I want you to love me.

now at first, I just thought she was being the Temperamental bint, forever changing her mind. now with this religious insight, I can see she now means

I don’t want you to Eros me, I want you to Agape Me

I don’t want you to Felio me, I want you to Agape me.

Now this brings the song into a enlightened level of understanding beyond the limitations of language.

It also probably helps highlights the pitfalls of many relationships, we are in love with them, fail to love them but believe we love them unconditionally and expect it back.

So next time you’re brave enough to utter those four lil letters about someone, swap it with Agape and see how it feels, if it doesn’t feel natural, then take haste in offering out its cumbersome modern day translation. For it may be more of a relationship hindrance then it is an evolver…